Or, in the alternative, I had every right to...

To paraphrase Voltaire, if the high-five did not exist, the Russians would have to invent it.

The famous (among lawyers) example of arguing "in the alternative" goes like this:

My dog doesn't bite. Or, in the alternative, my dog was tied up that night. Or, in the alternative, you were not bitten. Or, in the alternative, my dog was provoked.  Or, in the alternative, I don't have a dog. 

That's pretty much how the Trump administration addresses the Orange Peril's blunders.  Why was Comey fired? Because he was unfair to Hillary. Or, in the alternative, because this thing about Trump and Russia is a Hillary-sponsored hoax.  Did Trump leak classified information to the Russians last night?  Well, the formerly respected H.R. McMaster says he was in the room where it happened, and it didn't happen.  Or, tweets the leader of the free world, in the alternative, I had every right to do it.

The Russians have won the Powerball, and they've taken their winnings as an annuity payable over the political life of Donald Trump.  One can only pray that it is short, and that it ends non-violently.  I'll stop typing now, as this is probably already old news...